Update

Well as you might have thought/feared - my dad passed November 19th just after 10pm. It was the worst day of my life. I lost my best friend and the best father anyone could have ever had. It's been a struggle to do anything since really. There's not a day that goes by where I'm not thinking of him or talking to him for comfort or asking advice. He's always been there for me and always will. He's a part of me now and I really can feel that he's watching over me and comforting me at times. People say it's hard, but I could never imagine the hurt that I feel now. I really miss him every second of every day.

...On a more positive note, I've been trying to drown my sorrows in the search for a new bike. It's kinda ironic with the lack of riding I've done lately but I figured what the hell. I actually did a race the day after my father's memorial ceremony and that was really tough to get through. I had no fitness and no mental focus but somehow finished, and wasn't last. That was a huge success. So every now and then when I actually get the motivation to ride, I try and get a few hours in. I'm hoping it gets easier and easier and I get back into the normal routine at some point. My goal at this point is to start my base miles and cut weight for the 2012 season. I'd like to get back to 155 for next season and I set a goal of hitting 158 by January 1st as I'm 168 now. I know that will help me tremendously with the infamous power to weight ratio, and more than that, my confidence which really matters. Right now it's all tough and just trying to figure it out and see what really matters.